Quotes again

Fun:

The only way to make your PC go faster is to throw it out a window.
-- Robert Paul

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour.
Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Giving up smoking is easy...I've done it hundreds of times.
- Mark Twain

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's
the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!
-- Robert Orben

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
- Bertrand Russell
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Advice quotes

I always advise people never to give advice.
-- P. G. Wodehouse

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
-- Erica Jong (How to Save Your Own Life, 1977)

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
-- Wendell Johnson

Never miss a good chance to shut up.
-- Will Rogers